I’m not a basically unhappy person. But calling for service in the 21st century makes me wonder how hard people are trying. Today’s examples?
The Two-Account Problem at AT&T Wireless
I’ve got cell phone service from AT&T. At some point in the past year, they gave me a new account. I was moving from a corporate plan to a personal plan, I think. It wasn’t my choice, it was the way they had to do things, because I suspect that all corporations must serve the machines that they use to do things. I was disappointed to lose my roll-over minutes, but then again, I don’t talk much and I piled them up because I wasn’t using them.
One of the unforeseen results of this administrative change was that I’ve been getting two bills for the last six months. One of the is for my phone, and the other is my old account. I’ve had a credit of $11.25 for some time. For the past several months, I’ve just filed it, thinking that they’d send me a check and close the account. I bet it costs them more than $11.25 to keep mailing me statements.
Today, I called them, to get them to stop sending me the second statement. I don’t care if they send me the money, transfer it to my new account, or keep it. I just want one less AT&T statement to arrive each month. I called the number on the statement, and the automated attendant asked for my phone number.
Well, since the phone number is now associated with the new account, and there is no phone attached to the old one, I thought I’d just sit tight, be quiet, and get a chance to put in my account number, or ask for customer service.
That didn’t happen.
After politely asking for my phone number several times, the automated attendant thanked me for calling, and suggested I go online or call the 800-number that I had just called, and hung up. I had mixed feelings because a) I had spoken directly to the machine that controls AT&T Wireless, which felt like a good thing; and b) I hadn’t actually spoken; and c) I wasn’t getting anywhere.
At that point, I wondered just how bad it would be if I got a couple more statements with a credit balance, and just bagged the project.
But I persevered, and called back, and entered my current phone number. I was put into a queue for two minutes, while I listened to a perky person talking about anytime minutes, or something. It’s like banner blindness – I don’t hear the radio and tv commercials either.
After a short time, a nice woman in Cedar City, UT came on the line. I explained my problem, and volunteered that I knew the account number. She needed that account number several times over the next few minutes. while she transferred the $11.25 to my new account.
I took out the trash while she worked. I kind of felt sorry for her. In her job, she has to serve the machine, and still try to help people. That’s being caught between a rock and a hard place. She can only do what the machine allows, and there isn’t always a clear protocol for the specific request that a person makes.
Like me, she persevered, and in a few moments, two humans wrestled with the system and accomplished a very modest goal – the elimination of an old closed account. It’s not much, but it’s the kind of victory that we can expect these days.
It didn’t end there.
UTOPIA, not.
UTOPIA is an acronym, for the Utah Telecommunication Open Infrastructure Agency. They build the fiber optic network, and advertise “screaming fast internet.” I like my internet to be screaming fast, and I know from experience that the fiber optic networks have the best upload speeds available.
I wanted to know when they would have it available in my neighborhood, if not already. I might want to try it, right? So I went to their website, and saw that 38% of Orem is installed, and the rest is scheduled in a plan. There was a link to the Orem city website, which featured a prominent UTOPIA link on the home page, which went … back to UTOPIA. At face value, a loop between Orem and Utopia sounds pretty good, but in practice it’s just two links between web pages that don’t tell you anything.
The UTOPIA page had a “hot-line” phone number, which I dialed. I got an automated attendant. I didn’t know the extension of the person I was calling, so that option was a bust. I didn’t have any needs described in the list of possibilities, so I went for the option for that. I got a polite young lady’s voice, saying that if I was calling during business hours (and I was), to please leave a message.
I didn’t.
I love Comcast
I should explain, I love Comcast. I might be one of their best customers. I pay more each month than I'd like to pay for a car payment. I have the internet, I have the HD DVR, I watch the MLB Extra Innings.
I had a deal on Starz and HBO from Comcast for a while. On my current bill, they went back to full price. Time to drop them. I call the number on my bill, and the automated attendant said:
Enter 1 for English, 2 for Spanish
(I pressed 1)
Again, Enter 1 for English, 2 for Spanish.
Really. That's what it did.
Recently, I changed home phone numbers. I was apparently in the throes of completing that change, because next they wanted me to enter my phone number. I put my old number, and it was invalid. I put the new one in, and got connected …
… To a person who asked me what my phone number was. I told them the new number, and they couldn't find my account. I told them my old number, and asked them to please change their records.
Then I asked them about the cable modem charge. I've just got the one. But my bill containsa $3 charge for "unreturned modem rental" under the Cable Television section of the bill, and a $3 "Modem rental" under the internet section.
How should that call have gone, if I was king?
(ring)
Hi, Beau.
I want to drop HBO and Starz.
Sure, we'll do that today.
Aren't you going to give me any inconvenience about what language I want to speak, or what my phone number is? Are you going to try to impress me with the security of my data, since it's clear that you can't even tell what my phone number is?
Nope, we think people have had enough of that.
Citgo is really secure
I wanted to order an additional Citgo card. My current statement says that if you want to do that, to call a certain number. I did, with my statement and the card in front of me. I put in my language preference, and I put in my account number, and then I got connected to poor Tasha.
I told her my name. I told her the last 4 of my social. Then she asked me if I used the card during the last 90 days. I couldn't remember. 7-11 used to take the card, and then stopped. I don't use it very often. But Tasha couldn't open my account – the machine she works for wouldn't allow it – unless I knew whether I had used it in the last 90 days or not. Failing that, did I know the year that the account was opened.
I have a pretty good memory, but I had no clue. I shudder to think what happens if Wanda ever has to call about something like that.
So I did what I don't like to do. I asked for a supervisor. One came on, a nice enough lady, who also didn't have the authority to look at my account unless I knew the answer. So, while I explained to her that I had never heard of such a thing, I pawed through my big wicker basket of paid bills and found the two previous statements, so that I could answer the 90-day question. Oh, and they did ask me to call from my home phone. I explained that I was calling from my home phone, but that they don't have the current number.
Once you clear that hurdle, it's all whipped cream at Citgo. They can do anything you wish for your account.
I resolved to do that kind of thing online from now on, and went online to set up my account. When I put in my card # to register, it didn't match their records! So I called the number on the screen.
I chose English, and then had to choose between 1 and 2, even though I didn't like either one. I took 1, and then was asked for my 16 digit account number. I have a 9 digit account number. Eventually, I waited them out, and was able to speak to a person. I told her that I only have a 9 digit account number, and she cheerfully transferred me to "gas."
The girl at "gas" was the nicest person I spoke to all day. She was cheerful and helpful, even if she still had to serve the machine. She told me that the system did not contain my SSN, and without that, it would not allow me to register online. I told her the number, and she told me that I should be able to register in 24 hours.
I'm not in a hurry to log in and change my home phone number. I can wait.
What’s it all mean?
I am not sure that any business offers service levels like I experienced growing up in the 50’s and 60’s. I’m not sure if what we have today is worse than being told to someone else, a chain of 6 conversations with a human, that eventually led to a loop. I’d just as soon click two web pages back and forth until I lose interest.
And that’s the sad state of it. When customers lose interest in getting service from a business, everyone loses. And it feels like that’s just what the businesses want, based on the way they deliver service.